Happy New Year Wishes in Kannada – ಹ್ಯಾಪಿ ನ್ಯೂ ಇಯರ್ 2018

If you are the one searching for a good collection of New Year messages in Kannada or the Best New Year Messages 2017 in Kannada for Lovers, you are on the right page! We can tell you this great collection of New Year Messages and wishes or greetings and images with pictures in Kannada. You can go ahead and share these Kannada quotes or send it to your girlfriend or boyfriend and/or lovers. All the talented and beautiful Kannada people who are exploring the web and net for messaging your lover the Best Happy New Year Wishes in Kannada 2018 you are on the page.  

The Boyfriends and girlfriends, who cannot meet each other on this happy new Yea occasion 2018, can use the messaging platforms to show each other love. No matter how far apart one is from the other, these New Year wishes in Kannada greetings will reach them at all the worldwide locations and local places. The people in Bangalore can get the Best Happy New Year Messages 2018 in Kannada language on this coming year 2018. Searching Best New Year Wishes in Kannada 2017 is gaining popularity in all search engines globally. There are many Kannada New Year Messages 2017 on Whatsapp and Facebook and we are happy to share this with you.

Happy New Year Wishes in Kannada Language – Quotes and Whatsapp Status:

New Year Wishes in Kannada

New Year Wishes in Kannada 2018:  These super collections of New Year 2017 wishes in Kannada are truly amazing. Send them to your family and friends who speak Kannada language. You may be a resident of Bangalore or working in the IT Hub in Bangalore.  So use these to wish your colleagues at work and local neighbors in Karnataka in their Kannada language. Make your girlfriend happy with these Best New Year Messages in Kannada. Kannada people celebrate the festival of New Year with joy and happiness and sharing the best New Year messages 2018 for lovers. Share these Happy New year Messages 2017 in Kannada with your boyfriend to wish him in advance in his own language.

Chikka keys open doddadhu locks
Simple words reflect great anubhavagalu
Nima naghu cure hrudhaya blocks hagutte
Adhike yavagalu naghuthaeri rocks.
Hosa varshadha shobhasheyagalu

Nenappu ettukolli naghavannu
Santhosha hard kelasagallu
Mathu kanniru mathu nima
Reflect hella marethu
Varsha yoche madi

Sawgath Hosa Bellakige Jothe Santhosh
Nimma Mukhadhalli Prethi Nima Hrudhayadhalli Sihiyadha
Thoughts Nimma Mindyalli Nimmage E-dina

Ninna bala haadiyali
Hoo badadevirali manassu
Noyadevirali Sneha
Sauradhevirali Valavu
Vadeyaderali. Aadare
Badukina angaladalli
Bharavaseya beladingalirali,
Balina prati tiruvinallu
Savi nenapemba hoo gondirali
Deva haaraisutavirali
Ninnannu rakshisutavirali
Hendhu baiyasutta nimge
Hosa Varashadha Shubhasheyagalu

Yean haage nodtiya?
Thale ilvaa ninge?
Ond sms kalsake baralvaa?
Dhanda ke 1 mobil bere!
Heege yaradru bydre
Nange helu naan nodkothini. Ok na?
Hosa varshadha shubhsheyagalu

Sawgath hosa bellakige
Jothe santhosh nimma mukhadhalli
Prethi nima hrudhayadhalli
Sihiyadha thoughts nimma mindyalli
Nimmage E-dina Wonderful dina hagabiku
Hosa varshadha Shubhasheyagalu..

Hosa varsha praramba
Adhu pray madabiku
E-baruva varsha
Jotheyalli hosa nemadhi
Mathu santhoshavnnu
Kodabiku anotha hosa
Snehitharige god ashirwadha
Erabiku mathu nimge

Hosa varsha praramba
Adhu pray madabiku
E-baruva varsha
Jotheyalli hosa nemadhi
Mathu santhoshavnnu
Kodabiku anotha hosa
Snehitharige god ashirwadha
Erabiku mathu nimge

New Year Wishes in Kannada Language for Whatsapp Status:

New Year greetings in Kannada

Send these messages to your special girlfriend or boyfriend who resides abroad. Or you may be working in another place and your BF/GF may be residing elsewhere. All you have to do is send these Best Happy New Year wishes in Kannada 2018 to wish them in their Kannada language.

kallu manassu kannada kavanagalu
kannada friends filing kavanagalu wallpaper
Sawgath hosa bellakige
Jothe santhosh nimma mukhadhalli
Prethi nima hrudhayadhalli
Sihiyadha thoughts nimma mindyalli
Nimmage E-dina Wonderful dina hagabiku
Hosa varshadha Shubhasheyagalu

Hosa varashadha samayadhalli
Unfold hosa hozions mathu realize
Hosa kannasu to rediscover the
Strength mathu faith within nimge
To rejoicehage simple pleasures
Mathu gearup 4 hosa challenges
Wishing nimge nija fulfilling
Hosa varshadha shubhasheyagallu

Nange gothu thumba bega banthu
Adhare nange biku 100s of kaigallu
Yarudhu guysdhu mathu hodigiyaradhu
Nanu wish madatine nanu decided
To finish off uncles mathu aunties first
Wish You and Your family Happy New Year

Just type LOVE space
Nimma hesru nimma
Lover hesru mattu adannu
Nimma appana numberge
Kalisi bhavishya thilkoli.
Happy New Year

SNEHA vemba muttina haara.
Saavira nenapina sundara alankara
Ponisalu beku baavaneya daara.
Aduve badukina saakshathkara
Wish U happy New year

Kannada kavana 2018
2018 kannada kavanagalu
new year sms kannada
kannada new sms kavanagallu in new
sms kannada kavanagalu
happy new year kannada sms

Happy New Year Greetings in Kannada Language:

ಈ ದಿನದಿಂದ ನಿನ್ನಾಸೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಹುಸಿಯಾಗದೆ ಹಸಿರಾಗಲಿ ಈ ಕ್ಷಣದಿಂದ ನಿನ್ನ ಕನಸುಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ನನಸಾಗಲಿ ಬದುಕು ಬಂ ಗಾರವಾಗಲಿ. ಹೊ ಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು ಕ್ರಿಸ್ಮಸ್ ಹಾಗೂ ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು ನಿನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ನಾಳೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಸುಖ ಸಂತೋಷದ ನೆರಳು ಸದಾ ವಿಜ್ರಂಭಿಸುತ್ತಿರಲಿ. ಕ್ರಿಸ್ಮಸ್ ಹಾಗು ಹೊಸ  ರ್ಷದ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು ಹೊಸವರ್ಷದ ಹಿನ್ನೆಣಿಕೆಯೊಂದಿಗೆ ಶುಭಾಶಯ ಕೊರಿ. ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಹೊಸದಿನ ಹೊಸ ಆಸೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ಹೊಸೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿ ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ಅವು ನನಸಾಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿ.

Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband – New Year Quotes to My Love

Everyone is ready and excited to get their groove on, as New Year 2018 is just approaching. However, with all the excitement and preparation that is going on, You don’t want to risk forgetting to wish any of your friends the most heartfelt New Year’s message right? Don’t worry about it anymore! We are here to help you with just that. Instead of worrying about what message to send your beloved husband and lover at the last moment, take some help from these amazing Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband. Send these to your husband/Boyfriend and make him feel special this New Year.

New Year 2018 is just a few weeks away, and with the grand preparations going on welcome this New Year, We definitely need some touching messages to send to all our loved ones! There are many generic New Year’s messages and a one-liner that you will find in Newspapers, magazines and even on the internet. But this New year, why not go slightly more creative? Send some heart-warming Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband and to your loved ones this New Year 2018 and that you took this extra effort for him! Here are some great ideas for Happy New Year Wishes.

Romantic and Funny Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband:

I would have never known what it is to be like in a world full of joyful turns and happy twists if I would have never been introduced to you. You came into my life and made it more wonderful with your touch. I expect you to fill up my days ahead in 2018 with your love and passion. Come honey make my life the fairytale that I have always wanted it to be!

Now that I have you in my life, I know each year will be a happy and a rocking one.

Another year comes to an end and I would like to thank you with all my heart for making it a worthwhile ride. Looking forward to another great year with you!

May you get all the happiness my dear beautiful Life Partner in the year ahead!

Confidence, love and happiness are the three wonderful gifts that you have bestowed on me in the years gone by. Hope you continue offering me these gifts even in 2018 to make the person I want to be my hubby!

Your love, my honey, has made me greedy and now I demand you to be by my side always and make 2018 another eventful year.

The last 12 beautiful months have now become beautiful chapters of my life. Fill up each day of my life with more wonderful memories to make the chapter worth looking back at when we get old.

Each day of 2017 have made me realize that I am lucky to have you in my life and I know the same feeling will grow by leaps and bounds on every single day of 2018.

Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband and Friends:

Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband

This New Year 2018, if I could wish for anything, all I would wish for is to have a friend like you in my life forever. Happy New Year to my best friend in the world.

Friends are those special people in your life who bring you happiness throughout the year! So on this special day, I would like to wish you all a Happy New Year filled with as much happiness as you bring to my life.

The greatest gift in the world is a friend, and with you in my life, I feel like I have received the best gift from God. Happy New Year to my dearest friend.

True friends are not like flowers that wilt away with time. True friends are like octopuses that stick to you even when times get rough! Happy New Year to my favorite octopus!

May your year be filled with love, with joy, and with more memories as we enter another year together hand in hand as best friends. I hope I can always have you as a friend to hold my hand through rough times and laugh like children during our happy times. Happy New Year to one of my dearest friends. Have a safe and blessed New Year 2018.

A shoulder to cry on, a constant shadow beside you, the light at the end of the tunnel, and the beautiful colour when the sky is blue. This is what you are to me, my very special friend. Happy New Year to you.

Wishing you Love, Peace, Laughter and Friendship this New Year 2018. I hope to always have a friend like you in my life, as we grow older together and still love each other even with our dentures on!

Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband – Emotional Quotes for Lovers:

New Years 2018 is almost on its way here, and the level of excitement in the air is almost palpable. This New Year’s, if you are lucky to have that one special person beside you whom you would like to send some extra special New Year wishes to, we have just the right words for you! Take a look at some of these Happy New Year 2018 Wishes for Husband and Lovers and make your lover feel warm and cozy with your heartwarming words on this cold, wintery New Year.

This New Year, you have made my life brighter and my heart warmer. I know I have made the best decision by giving you the key to my heart. I hope you always keep it safe with you. Happy New Year to my favorite person in the world.

I love life because it was kind enough to give you to me, and I love you, because you are my life. Happy New Year to my dearest.

I know this year I will be having the best New Year, because you are there by my side to walk me into a new journey in 2018. Happy New Year my love.

They say the most precious thing in life is love. But you, my love, are my life. Happy New Year.

This new year, let us begin our journey again with a blank book and fill up its 365 pages with love, laughter, and happiness. Happy New Year and a happy storybook for us to fill up!

Happy New Year to the person who makes me smile even when I am angry with him!

This New Year’s, let us cheer to our resolution to fight less, love more, and be positive as we step on this beautiful journey together. Happy New Year to my love.

I could not have asked for any better gift on New Year’s than to spend it with you looking into my eyes. Happy New Year and an even happier rest of the year to my special person.

Having a lover is good, but having a best friend you can always count on is better. I guess I hit the jackpot with you, as I got a lover and a best friend in one person. Happy New Year to my favorite person ever.

Send some of these Happy New Year 2018 wishes for Husband, Lovers and to your special someone, and bring a beautiful smile to their faces this year and have a laugh this New Year 2018!

Happy New Year Calendar – List Of Holidays in 2018 Year!!

Happy New Year 2018 is just knocking on our doors, and we are all more than happy to welcome this New Year into our lives. With prayers and blessings to start the new year with newer memories, more adventures, more laughs and making people smile every day, all of us are ready to begin the new chapter in our lives called 2018. This 2018, are you sitting at the edge of your chair to find out how the year will go for you? Well, we might not be able to predict the future for you, but we can tell you about the days in the year when you can sit back and relax, taking a day off from your hectic work schedule. Here is the New Year Calendar 2018 of all the holidays you will be able to enjoy in this new year.

New Year Calendar – Public Holidays in India in 2018:

Date Weekend Holiday Name
Jan 1 Monday New Year’s Day
Jan 26 Friday Republic Day
Feb 13 Thursday Maha Shivratri
March 2 Fridday Holi
April 29 Sunday Mahavir Jayanti
April 25 Wednesday Rama Navami
May 7 Monday Rabindra Nath Tagore Jayanti
June 15 Friday Eid al-fitr
July 14 Saturday Rath Yatra
Aug 15 Wednesday Independence Day
Sep 3 Monday Janmashthami
Oct 2 Thursday Gandhi Jayanti
Oct 19 Friday Dusshera
Nov 7 Wednesday Diwali
Dec 25 Thursday Christmas

Happy New Year Calendar of 2018 – Free Download!!

new year calendar new-year-2018-calender happy-new-year-calendar. new-year-2018-calendar-free

This is the New Year Calendar of 2018 for you with all the holidays in this new year. You can mark out the dates on your calendar as you make plans with your friends and family on how you are going to make the most of your holidays.

Take a short trip this year in 2018, take advantage of the holidays that this year is bringing to you. Don’t forget to mark out all the special days which you want to celebrate on this year’s New Year Calendar. Get your festive mood on as you get ready to welcome yet another year into your lives. While work might be your first priority on other days, this New Year Calendar shows you exactly which days you will be able to enjoy your holidays this 2018.

So get ready, take out your New Year Calendar and celebrate this New Year 2018 with a bang! Happy New Year to everyone and we hope you have the best year ahead of you filled with holidays!

New Year Poems for Kids – Quotes, Rhymes for Happy New Year 2018!!

From kids to elders everyone will participate in the New Year celebrations. The celebrations will be skyrocketed on the New Year night.  It is a holiday for most of the schools on January 1st in many countries. Kids are the people who actually enjoy New Year to the core.  They participate in the events with their whole hearts. New Year time is the time to renew ourselves. Kids who are pure at heart and mind await the New Year a lot. They long a lot to celebrate the New Year and participate in various cultural events. Check Happy New Year Poems for Kids below.

This year too, all the kids are making things ready to celebrate the New Year uniquely. Kids usually celebrate the New Year by exchanging pretty gifts and greeting cards.  They exchange chocolates, fruits and sweets with each other and wish.  Kids love poems a lot and that must be the reason why they start their education with poems.  If you have cute little kids in your house and if you want to make their New Year noteworthy then here are some Happy New Year poems for kids.  

In case you want to do something different, you can also print that beautiful poem on his favorite milk cup. Kids always adore such things.  Make sure to choose the best poems for your kids from our collection. We made sure to collect the easy and much readable poems keeping kids in mind. You will also fall in love with our poems collection for sure.  Read them and pick the best ones for your kids. Unlike other years, make this New Year much more memorable by sharing our love filled poems with your kids. We have bunched some pretty awesome New Year Poems for kids.  Take a look!

Happy New Year Poems for Kids – Best Rhymes:

new year poems for kids

New Year brings just Happiness not Tear,
Everybody loves only You Dear,
All your Problems will be Finish
It’s for You my Special NEW YEAR’S wish.

Like birds, let us,
Leave behind what we don’t need to carry,
Grudges Sadness Pain Fear And Regrets.
Life is beautiful, enjoy it.
Happy New Year 2018.

May the New Year fill up days
with all things that are nice
and bright – here is
wishing you a lovely 2018.

Another clean new season is here
another season to live!
To reduce fear, question, and fear,
To really like and have an excellent
have an excellent has a good laugh and give!
Happy New Year 2018 My Beloved.

Wishing Everyone a Very Satisfied New Year
Much really like & Regard to All of You May You
Be Enclosed by Convenience, Really like,
And Fulfillment in the Year to Come
Happy New Year 2018.

Let There Be Outcast Of The Fear,
For This Entire New Year,
Wishing By Heart In Your Ear,
A Very Happy New Year!

May the season 2018 provide you with
The chance to recognize your goals,
Discover out your highly effective aspects,
Buster your commitment and satisfaction the easy
Happy New Year 2018.

Let us try to be good and content,
Kind to each other,
Healthy and gentle and brave,
Obedient to Mother.
For of such were the heroes of old –
Patient in learning,
Seldom rude, seldom cross, never cruel,
From the truth never turning.
– A. E. and M. Keary

A low, quiet music is playing—
distorted trumpet, torn bass line,
white windows. My palms
are two speakers the size
of pool-hall coasters.
I lay them on the dark table
for you to repair.
– Carl Adamshick

The worst is yet to come:
So wail the doubters glum,
But here’s the better view;
“My best I’ve yet to do.”
The worst some always fear;
To-morrow holds no cheer,
Yet farther on life’s lane
Are joys you shall attain.
Go forward bravely, then,
And play your part as men,
For this is ever true:
Our best we’ve yet to do.
– Edgar Guest

Happy New Year to you!
May every great new day
Bring you sweet surprises–
A happiness buffet.
Happy New Year to you,
And when the new year’s done,
May the next year be even better,
Full of pleasure, joy and fun.
– Anonymous

It’s a new year
Let’s give a cheer
Send New Year PoemsPour us some wine
And maybe some beer
Get all your friends
Party till the day ends
Then the ball will drop
And the balloons will pop
It will be 2017
Give me a high five
Another year passes
Through life’s glasses
Happy New Year!
– Anonymous

Top 100 New Year Resolutions List, Quotes and Ideas | New Year 2018!!

New Year Resolutions: New Year is just in time.  We will soon be immersed in the celebrations of the New Year.  New Year is the time to improve oneself to be a better person.  It is the time to make pretty good resolutions life.  It has been a tradition in many parts of the world to make resolutions and take vows on the New Year day.  Many people make promises and make resolutions on the New Year day.  There are awful lots of things that people make their resolutions on.  The most common resolutions that top the list or to lose weight, get better financially, study better etc. As the New Year is right around the corner all the people have been searching for New Year resolutions. 

Though resolutions are something that an individual has to decide on, people do take the help of the search engines to decide on their resolutions. As we said earlier, It is followed as a tradition in many parts of the world.  People make promises to do an act of self-improvement in the coming year.  Some take it very seriously and work to achieve their resolutions while others just forget it the next day. New Year is considered as a new opportunity by many people.  People come to their senses and make some mindful resolutions to act better the coming year.  Though not all people give their best in fulfilling their resolutions, few do their best to make their resolutions succeed.

Happy New Year Resolutions – Make this Your Best Ever!!

New Year Resolutions 2018

Few resolutions last lifelong until the thing is achieved while few resolutions just go down the drain with time.  As New Year is on deck many people must be thinking hard about the resolutions to make for the New Year.  If you are one among them and want some suggestions to decide on the New Year resolutions then we are all ready to help you people.  We have stacked some worthy New Year resolutions for you.  They are listed out below.  Take a look!

New Year resolutions are mainly aimed at achieving our short-term and long-term goals.  They are considered very important by many while useless by many others.  It’s definitely a good idea to make a resolution on the New Year day, but what increases its worth is whether we stick to it until the end or not.  Unless and until we achieve what we want to achieve, we have to stick to our resolution no matter what. It is hard, may be very hard, but if we made a promise to ourselves that we are going to do something this year, we have to stick to it at any cost. 

We have to be determined in such a way that we should just linger on the resolutions we make till the very end.  We are no way done until we achieve them.  We have to prepare our minds to be of such kind.  We have brought before you the best New Year resolutions.  You can take a look and pick your favorite one and keep them as your resolution on New Year eve.  You can also share these resolutions with your friends on social platforms. 

New Year Resolutions for Food Lovers – Healthy Eating ideas!!

New Year Resolution Ideas on Foods

Reduce Your Sugar Intake

Add veggies to breakfast time

Save booze for the weekend

Practice mindful eating

Incorporate more probiotics and prebiotics into your diet

Eat two pieces of fruit a day

Stock your pantry with fewer sweets

Schedule Regular Visits to Farmer’s Markets and Local Vendors

Make Meat the Side Dish

Make Eating Quality Time

If You’re a Restaurant Junkie, Start Cooking

Bring snacks to work — such as pretzels, fruit, and yogurt — so you won’t find yourself at the vending machine every afternoon.

Aim to eat five servings of fruits and vegetables every day.

When fixing a salad, sprinkle rolled oats or crunchy whole-grain cereal for added fiber, so you’ll feel full.

New Year Resolutions For Men:

Continuing on the earlier thread, remember that negative people have a negative effect on your life; so it is better to let people go who have a negative impact on you, who create a negative ambience in your life.

Prioritize. That is perhaps one of the most important resolutions that one can take and one can adhere to. Prioritizing will happen when you realize and recognize what is important to you. You need to remind yourself of what and who your priorities are; otherwise you will lose the focus of your life.

Never believe that just because you deserve, all good things will fall at your feet. You need to focus and put in a consolidated effort to get what you want, and then only will you attain it.

Respect your elders. Never forget that they took care of you once and now it is your turn to take care and notice of them. Appreciate their presence in your life. Remember, you too will grow old someday.

Own up. Learn to accept the responsibilities of your own actions. If you think you did something wrong. Own up. There is nothing wrong in admitting your mistakes and learning a lesson out of them.

Make a bucket list and start striking off lists off that as and when you can. You never know till how long your life will last, so as Tennyson said…”drink life to the lees”. Live your life to the fullest.

Most importantly, if you feel that any issue needs to be addressed, do it. Address it. Don’t wait for something to happen. Nothing will happen till you make it happen. Thus things are in your hand to make them happen, to bring them to fruition.

New Year Resolutions For Students:

New Year Resolutions For Students

This is a time to spread your wings. This is also a time to gauge how you can make a mark that would help you make advancement in your career in the future.

Doubting your own abilities always stifles your wings. However, being over confident too at times spoils the deal. You should understand the thin line of difference.

Your lifestyle has a direct influence on your academics. If your health is not at an optimum, it would not be possible for you to concentrate and focus. A balanced diet, exercise and proper sleeping pattern are essential to maintain good health.

You should never shrink from taking tests. You would not know where you stand unless you face them. Sometimes taking a standardized test early leaves room for retry if needed

Organized approach has always been a key to success. This also helps you to stay abreast of all that is going on in your life

As a student it is highly likely that your hands are almost always too full. But you should know how to set your priorities right.

There is a huge difference between wanting to do something and actually doing something. So you should get a reality check done before you give wings to your dreams so that they do not get impractical or unattainable.

Last, but not the least, you should not get carried away by thoughts and ideas of others. You as an individual should frame your resolutions according to your needs and wants – resolutions you can stick to, resolutions that would make a positive difference for you.

New Year Resolutions For Women:

New Year Resolutions For Women

A woman is very much particular about her looks so the most important resolution happens to be retaining her good looks. The resolution that tops the list is to have more curves in the figure and have her vital statistics set to such a quotient that she will perfectly resemble an hourglass.

A woman bears lots of responsibilities. Therefore one of the foremost resolutions taken by her should be setting a goal for herself in order to attain her aims.

It is not at all viable for a woman to be prodigal at any cost, so a woman must take the resolution to cut off her expenses to some extent and save some money for the future.

Apart from that, the other necessary resolutions can be, being helpful to other, look for new investment options, quit the habit of drinking and smoking, if at all possess it.

The last resolution, that should always be at a priority position in the woman’s list of New Year Resolutions, is to have ample time and energy for her family and if she is a mother then the kid should be at the highest point of her priority list.

New Year Resolutions For Teenagers:

  • To exercise regularly.

  • Making oneself physically fit.

  • Say no to fast foods and colas.

  • Say no to roadside food.

  • Prepare a healthy course of diet every day.

  • Plan to do home works regularly.

  • Attend school regularly.

  • Offer volunteer ship when necessary.

Funny New Year Resolutions:

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife

I will think of a password other than “password” or “hello”.

I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will give up chocolates totally.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will try to figure out why I really need ten e-mail addresses.

I will not eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

I will regularly wash my underwear.

I will watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

I will play more computer games. Scientists say they’re good for me and improve my visual skills.

I will eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn, and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables, and soy nuts.

I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week.

I will learn what the “resolution” means.

I will leave my brain at home while going to watch the supposedly scary movies.

I will not hang around girls because they think I love them.

I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.

I will stop exercising, because it is such a waste of time.

I will stop being nice to cute guys.